They may have stolen my past, but I’ll never let them take my future.
When the walls between Man and Fae come crashing down, freeing the insatiable, immortal Unseelie from their icy prison, MacKayla Lane is caught in a deadly trap. Captured by the Fae Lord Master, she is left with no memory of who or what she is: the only sidhe-seer alive who can track the Sinsar Dubh, a book of arcane black magic that holds the key to controlling both worlds.
Clawing her way back from oblivion is only the first step Mac must take down a perilous path, from the battle-filled streets of Dublin to the treacherous politics of an ancient, secret sect, through the tangled lies of men who claim to be her allies into the illusory world of the Fae themselves, where nothing is as it seems—and Mac is forced to face a soul-shattering truth.
Who do you trust when you can’t even trust yourself?
I’ve gone mad. I’m off the wall. I have no more sanity to give. No more happy chick. No more squishy hugs and fluffy dragons. It is apocalyptic rage. It’s the purest most foul type of rage. It is looking at the world with nothing but cynicism and distrust. It is lust at it’s most disgusting, shaming, and degrading form possible. It is this book. It is leather, gun wielding, pink hating, distrusting Mac 4.0. She’s lost her mind along with me.
The world is full of Unseelie. The world lies in darkness and death. Shades are everywhere. The Lord Master has succeeded. Mac….oh our dear Mac is not the same. She’s more different than ever.
She’s pri-ya. She was raped by Unseelie princes. She’s stark raving mad for lust. She’s an animal. She has no memory of who she is. She only knows animal instinct. Dani saved her.
And then there was Barrons. He saved her from staying pri-ya. He put up pictures of her sister, put on music from her iPod, painted her nails pink, and filled the room with all of her possessions and memories. He tried every fucking tiny little thing to help her get out of this animal state. She’s truly scary at this point. Her sentences don’t always make full grammatically correct sentences. She’s doped out on sex. She’s obsessed with Barrons’ red and black tattoos, as any woman would be. But eventually: she comes back.
Look I fucking loved this book. But I had an issue with Barrons sleeping with Mac when she was pri-ya. She was not herself. She was addicted to sex. It was as if she was on the most dangerous and insane type of drugs possible. He slept with her while she was vulnerable and I have half a mind to fucking kick him in the NUTS!
I know that he helped her. I think he did a wonderful thing in helping her. I could see that he cared a lot about her. I saw emotions in him that I never knew he truly felt. I can see he puts on a facade for Mac. I’m even speculative on whether he’s in love with her. Because Barrons dancing and smiling with Mac naked just says: Hey. I got the feels for you. But, I had higher expectations. I did not think having sex with her during this state could be easily excused. He did good, but he also did something I thought he would be above. I’m disappointed in you Barrons.
You see, when Mac wakes the fuck up she feels like this:
“I was out of my mind. I’d never have done it otherwise.”
Really, his dark eyes mocked, and in them I was demanding more, telling him I wanted it to always be this way.
I remembered what he’d replied: that one day I would wonder if it was possible to hate him more.
“I had no awareness. No choice.” I searched for words to drive my point home. “It was every bit as much rape as what the Unseelie Princes did to me.”
I disagree that it should be compared to rape, because this was not rape. I think some readers may think that, but I think that’s illogical thinking. It’s rationalizing it into something it really isn’t. If you know anything about rape, you should know the difference. And this is not rape.
This was a stupid stupid thing on Barrons part. I think that in his mind he thought he was helping, when really he couldn’t help resisting her. I don’t think this was right. I think it was him deceiving himself. No. I am not making excuses for him. Rape comes in many forms. It can be harsh. It can be seductive. And it can be cruel. But, this was none of those. This was a man trying to help Mac, whom was in agonizing pain from being pri-ya, and convincing himself it was the right thing to do.
She was desperately trying to get out of the hell of her mind and she didn’t even know why or how:
I do not know what to call it, but it makes me pace. I stalk the room like the animal I am, smashing and breaking things. I scream until my throat is raw. Suddenly I have new words. Rage. Anger. Violence.
I loved the transition from Lustful Mac to crazy Mac to Mac 4.0: the badass version. I hated what Barrons did, but oddly enough: he’s still sexy. I’m insane. I know this. But fuck, that man:
In fact, when I open my mouth to speak again, he kisses me, hard. He shuts me up with his tongue, deep. He kisses me until I cannot speak or even breathe, until I do not even care if I ever breathe again. Until I have forgotten that for a moment he was not a beast but a man. Until the images that so disturbed me are singed to ash by the heat of our lust and gone.
HEEEEEEEE! DROOLING. DROOLING. Who’s pri-ya now?
Mac 4.0: YESSSSSSS!
She used to be this:
And now she’s this:
I would always like pink. But there wasn’t anything pink inside me anymore. I might be back, but I was black Mac now.
If you think that Mac is going to go into a situation and not be prepared? You are an idiot.
You don’t go through shit like that and not learn your lesson. Mac goes through this book prepared, even over prepared. She thinks about every tiny little thing before she does it. She packs a bag full of things she might need. Her MacHalo. A gun. Her spear (of course!). Anything she might need to protect herself.
She no longer trusts a damn soul, but herself. She’s not stupid. She doesn’t rely on herself to get out of situations because that in itself is stupid. You don’t have to trust them. But, you can use them to your advantage to get out of a dangerous situation. That is where Mac is at. She know Barrons is resourceful in his intelligence to get her ass out of a situation. She’s trying to learn how to be smarter, better, stronger, and more resourceful like he is. But, she knows she’s not there yet.
Mac joins in on the fun, trying to kill as much Unseelie with Dani as possible. But that old hag gets in the way. THAT WOMAN. Meet Mr. Stabby why won’t you, Ro?
In this book, Mac is hurting. She’s embarrassed, although she doesn’t admit it. She’s angry at Barrons for seeing her at her most intimate and vulnerable state. She’s angry at the Unseelie Princes for raping, torturing, and using her for their own horrific purposes. She’s also angry that she might be in love with Barrons, but again she won’t admit it.
Mac is no longer PINK. SHE’S BLACK AS NIGHT. She’s no longer into rainbow outfits, fashion magazines, painting nails, or describing her looks. Only once in a while do you get her describing her outfit. But when she dresses it’s for practicality, not fashion:
I was wearing black leather from head to toe, not for the statement it made but for the practicality of it. With the right kind of leather, you can sponge off just about anything. Fabric isn’t blood-repellant.
Mac also realizes that her own sister might have been TSTL. Thank you! God. That had been bothering me since book one. Luckily, Mac is exiting that state of mind herself:
Recently I’d begun to realize my sister had made some hedgy decisions. Like not telling me what was going on as soon as she learned about it and trying to handle it all herself without asking for help. Strength wasn’t about being able to do everything alone. Strength was knowing when to ask for help and not being too proud to do it.
She actually listens to Barrons this time around. Even if you hate him, you can’t deny that he’s smart in his resourcefulness to get out of “oh fuck” situations. He knows what to do and Mac 4.0 realizes this.
Things we discover in this book:
- We may or may not have figured out what Barrons is. At least, I think I’m pretty sure what he is.
- More info on the world of the Unseelie; Hall of All Days, Druid magic, etc.
- More about Ryodan and the strange cult he’s part of.
- We find out Mac’s heritage.
And….we’re left with a lot of fucking questions. YAY MORE QUESTIONS!
The majority: around 80% of this novel was perfect. But I had a bit of an issue with extraneous detail in the Hall of All Days scenes. I felt like it could have been edited down extensively. I felt like a lot of the parts where unnecessary and didn’t need to be there. It really serves little point. I think it needed to be there, but that the majority of it didn’t. A good deal of the time, I was bored when reading those scenes. The only thing that kept me going were 1. Moning’s fast paced writing. 2. The secrets I would eventually learn the truth to.
Karen Marie Fucking Moning. WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO ME! No one fucking does this to me after ending the previous book with a heartbreaking ending to create an EVEN BIGGER PAINFUL ENDING! Yes. Those italics were intentional.
I will shit on you some day for doing this to me.
I resorted to listening to Black Widow by Iggy Freakin’ Azalea because of you. I am Miss Major Pissed Off. Fear me.
Who was that at the end? Who did she lose? Was it Barrons? Please tell me it wasn’t. Oh. My. No God Here.
And to top it all of, I decided to order the hardback copy of Shadowfever and it’s not here yet. This will be the end of me. I’m going to have to go to the store and buy some Vodka. Damn.
One last thing:
I still think Jericho fucking Barrons is sexy:
“Once before I’d seen Jericho Barrons wearing jeans and a T-shirt. It’s like sheet-metaling a W16 Bugatti Veyron engine-all 1,001 horsepower of it-with the body of a ’65 Shelby. The height of sophisticated power sporting in-your-face, fuck-you muscle.”
I am still insane. And he is still Mr. Sexy Pants.