Review: Beyond the Highland Mist by Karen Marie Moning

He would sell his warrior soul to possess her. . . .

An alluring laird…

He was known throughout the kingdom as Hawk, legendary predator of the battlefield and the boudoir. No woman could refuse his touch, but no woman ever stirred his heart—until a vengeful fairy tumbled Adrienne de Simone out of modern-day Seattle and into medieval Scotland. Captive in a century not her own, entirely too bold, too outspoken, she was an irresistible challenge to the sixteenth-century rogue. Coerced into a marriage with Hawk, Adrienne vowed to keep him at arm’s length—but his sweet seduction played havoc with her resolve.

A prisoner in time…

She had a perfect “no” on her perfect lips for the notorious laird, but Hawk swore she would whisper his name with desire, begging for the passion he longed to ignite within her. Not even the barriers of time and space would keep him from winning her love. Despite her uncertainty about following the promptings of her own passionate heart, Adrienne’s reservations were no match for Hawk’s determination to keep her by his side. . . .


Looks at her notes. Looks at all her friends reading good books. Feels embarrassed for reading this.

Takes a deep breath.

I hate highlander romances!

Historical inaccuracy regarding kilts and language, forced seduction, territorial disputes that don’t involve geography, unexplainable time travel, TSTL heroines, lairds who have balls the size of an elephant, and smoochy talk that would make Barry White ashamed.

I couldn’t even get on board with Outlander. It’s like it was created to repel me personally. Yes, that’s the reason.


Time Traveling Delivery Service: get your own beauteous lass!!! Order today!

Adrienne:

– judges people based on their looks.

– vengeful

– likes to do the opposite of what she’s told even if it’s just to piss people off

– doesn’t know shit about the 16th century

– makes excuses for men who treat her like shit

– has the hots for hunky higlanders

– she likes coffee

Hawke: 

– called the “king’s whore”

– he tames falcons and uses it to excuse forced seduction

– angry accent involving burrs and donnas.

– barbarian

– caveman

– douche

– phallicist

– rape-beast

– crusader for the holy virgin conquest

– Likes to say MINE

It’s a match:

One silver haired, silver eyed virgin for one Hawk.

What a beautiful barbarian highlander romance.


I should have known what I was getting myself into. Look at the original cover:

There’s almost a certain formula for highlander time travel romances:

Usually it involves fairies or some weird rocks in the middle of nowhere. The heroine dramatically falls out of the sky into the brawny hero’s arms. He tries to stake his claim. She pouts and pouts and pouts sticking out her chin whenever possible. She runs off to prove she’s a smart and independent woman because what intelligent woman wouldn’t run into an unknown land she knows nothing about? The brawny laird runs after her and they have sex on his plaid in a field. The book becomes ridden with historical inaccuracies like coffee and kilts and King James court politics. Recipe for a highland romance. Your welcome.

Only reason I read this again is because I recently discovered that I like Moning. I wanted to see what I thought of her historicals now. And then there’s the sex. You take that out and I won’t read it at all. I would be like giving birth to a pineapple. It would hurt a lot. That’s a really bad visual.

Moning’s writing should not be judged solely on this novel. She’s actually quite a talent, but this novel doesn’t show her real talent. It’s the Fever series that does that. This novel is just…bad. It’s like putting your hand in the fire expecting to get burned. You will get burned.

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